Fitting in has always baffled me.
From the time I was little, I always felt pressure to blend. Whether it was begging my mom to dye my blonde locks brown so I could look like my friends or buying my clothes at the “right” store, I was always searching for acceptance. Some times it felt like I would never find “my people”.
What has taken me a lifetime to learn is that fitting in is really more about feeling like you matter. We want others to notice, like and understand us. We yearn for connection. We want to know that if something happened to us, someone in this big world would care.
In my quest to lead a happy life, I have learned that acceptance starts from within. I have to like me. Yet, this is sometimes a challenge. There are so many messages being whispered to my soul that I am not enough. When I was younger, I had to work harder at school, participate and win at sports, and look a certain way to be considered “pretty”. All these messages–I don’t know how real they were–made me feel small and inadequate. What I heard and took to heart was that I had to change to earn acceptance. Certainly me, as was, was not enough. What if people found out how weird I really am?
Now I see the world through adult eyes. I have weathered life storms that have given me new perspective. I’ve learned that many people go through life trying to fit in. I’ve learned we’re all sort of doing our best and we all want to matter. More than that, we’re all a little weird. Maybe we’ll never fully blend but we don’t have to–we can create a new story. WE can celebrate rather than judge our differences. WE can help others know that they matter.
Over the last month, I’ve been searching my soul to figure out my purpose. I try to make sense of my journey–the blessings, the heartache, all of it. I’ve been listening to a new whisper. The message is clear that I need to be brave. I need to encourage others to see the good. Because if I can do it with all my baggage, so can you. No matter what hand you’ve been dealt, you can overcome and find blessings. You can seek gratitude.
You need to be brave. I believe we were put on this earth to lift one another up. Every day, we make a choice. We can contribute to a community with love, acceptance, and tolerance. Or, we can get all judgy, mean-spirited, and hateful. Our words have power. WE can choose powerful love messages.
One of my favorite bloggers, Glennon Melton from Momastery, wisely coined the phrase “love wins”. I’m on board with that and I’m going to bravely speak love every day.
Today, will you choose just one person to lift up? Find a way to encourage a friend, a neighbor, a family member, or complete stranger. Today, let love win. Let someone know they matter. You matter. I matter. WE can create a community where we all matter and fit in. : )